Let’s talk about Bullying
Bullying is the use of force, coercion, or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception (by the bully or by others) of an imbalance of physical or social power. Thank you Google.
Kiki was recently added to my family’s dog pack, varying reactions from indifference to curiosity and fascination was seen by the other dogs except for one, Max. He showed signs of aggression and intolerance towards Kiki, always barking, growling and even attempting to bite her. Each time he did, she’d cower and whimper, until one day she didn’t.
As Max took to his routine of intimidation and bullying, Kiki surprised me. In her tiny little voice, she barked and growled so loudly back at Max, he took a step back. Bro didn’t expect it, baby girl finally had enough. Now, he follows her around, licking her and playing with her. I get that this is sometimes a normal occurrence with dog packs but that exchange left an impact on me.
How many times have I allowed myself to be bullied, silenced ? How many times have I cowered back in fear? If only I said or did something, it also makes me wonder if at any point in time, I’d been a bully.
Reflecting on Today’s society, this is exactly what is happening. The government bullies the citizens, the rich bully the poor, bosses and their subordinates, lecturers and students, even on social media people get bullied. We have created an enabling environment for bullying by just accepting everything in stride, we make excuses by saying “That’s how it has been”, “There’s nothing that can be done”, “It’s unfortunate”, well I call BS!!
Because, lets face it, there’s something that can be done. First of, don’t keep quiet when you see bullying taking place, your silence makes you complicit. Don’t be a bully yourself, the fact that you have more power or in a certain position doesn’t make you a god. I know it sounds easier said than done, but that’s because there’s an enabling environment. Bullies thrive off the fear of their victims, the silence of those around. There’s this notion that if it doesn’t affect you, it doesn’t concern you. It is totally wrong, it might not affect today but what about tomorrow? Truth is, it doesn’t have to affect you before you do something about it. Deal with it early on, so it doesn’t affect you and those around you.
People bully others for so many reasons ranging from being utterly wicked, abuse of power to low self esteem, that by somehow putting others down, they feel better about themselves, some even bully others just for having a different view or opinion. For the bullied, they deal with so many effects that majorly affects their mental health and perception of life, some even commit suicide. It is very unpleasant to get bullied, it is an experience I don’t wish on anyone. There’s always bound to be an imbalance of power, therefore we need to hold those with more power accountable and make it uncomfortable for them to bully anyone, because for the average human most will take any slight opportunity they have to establish their dominance and superiority over others.
How then do we go about tackling the act of bullying? Let’s start in our immediate environment, be nice, kind, thoughtful, defend those getting bullied, have empathy, interact with love. By doing this, the changes we see in our environment will ripple out into the world, thereby creating a safer and saner atmosphere for everyone to thrive. We must do everything we can to create a better world for ourselves and generations to come.
